Considering therapy is a courageous step, and telling your family doesn’t have to hold you back.
If you’re a woman navigating the emotional terrain of midlife: identity shifts, caregiving stress, relationship changes, or simply a growing feeling of burnout, you might be considering therapy. You may also find yourself wondering how to talk about that choice with your spouse, children, or family members.
An experienced therapist will understand that therapy is not just a temporary fix – it’s a space for women to explore the deeper layers of their experience, reconnect with their inner selves, and rebuild confidence during life’s most defining transitions.But first, many women face this emotional hurdle: How do I tell my family I’m going to therapy?
Why Midlife Women Often Struggle to Ask for Emotional Support
By the time many women reach their 40s and 50s, they’ve spent decades putting others first, often as mothers, partners, daughters, and professionals. It can feel foreign – even uncomfortable to say: I need something for me.
Therapy might be new to you. Or maybe you’ve been before and know it works — but still worry how your family will respond.The truth is, therapy is one of the most effective tools for emotional wellbeing. According to the American Psychological Association, 75% of people who engage in therapy benefit from it, often showing improved emotional functioning, stronger relationships, and better coping skills. Read more on the effectiveness of therapy.
Why It Feels Hard to Tell Loved Ones You’re Going to Therapy
Women in midlife often worry about the reactions they’ll get from others. Common fears include:
- “Will my partner think I’m unhappy with them?”
- “Will my children think I’m unstable?”
- “Will my parents be disappointed?”
- “Is it selfish to take this time for myself?”
These questions are understandable. But they’re also rooted in a cultural legacy where women’s emotional needs were often silenced or overlooked.
Seeking therapy isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a step toward freedom.
How to Talk to Your Spouse or Family About Therapy
You don’t need to justify your decision, but feeling prepared can help you speak with confidence. Here’s how to approach the conversation:
1. Be clear and calm
Let them know you’re taking this step to better understand yourself, not to assign blame or point fingers.
Example:
“I’ve been feeling emotionally stretched, and I’ve realised I need a space just for me – to process what I’m carrying and make sense of this chapter in my life.”
2. Focus on Growth, Not Crisis
You’re choosing therapy to grow, not because something is “wrong” with you.
Example:
“This isn’t about anyone else doing something wrong, I just want to feel more grounded and connected to myself.”
3. Reassure Them (If Needed)
If you sense resistance, you can affirm that this is about self-care — and in the long run, it will benefit your relationships, too.
Example:
“I think this will help me show up more fully — for myself and for you.”
What If They Don’t Understand?
Not everyone will respond with immediate support. That’s okay.
If someone questions your decision, you can respond with something like:
- “I know therapy isn’t for everyone, but it’s something I need right now.”
- “This is about taking responsibility for my wellbeing, not blaming anyone.”
- “It might be hard to understand, but it matters to me.”
You’re not responsible for managing their discomfort. You are responsible for honouring your emotional needs.
Therapy Is a Journey – and a Gift to Yourself
Therapy isn’t a quick fix. It’s a journey — one where a skilled professional can help you uncover the deeper layers of your experience, rebuild confidence, and find a more balanced, fulfilling version of yourself.
For midlife women, therapy offers space to ask important questions:
- Who am I beyond my roles?
- What do I want in this next chapter?
- How can I process the emotional weight I’ve been carrying?
In my 30+ years of practice, I’ve seen the profound transformation that happens when women are given space to be heard — without judgment, interruption, or pressure to “have it all together.”
If You’re Looking for Support
If you’re not ready for one-to-one therapy but want a compassionate space to begin this journey, consider joining our Virtual Group for Midlife Women. With 6–12 participants, these professionally led groups offer a confidential space to share, reflect, and grow, with others who understand what you’re going through.
Click here to learn more or register.
You don’t have to do it alone, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to heal.
Make this chapter about you.
Laurie Sloane is a psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience supporting women through life transitions, relationship changes, and identity work. Her approach focuses on depth, connection, and lasting personal transformation.
